Compare Sirach 5:7 and Augustine, Confessions 6.11

“... In book 6, although the subject matter seems a somewhat disjunctive conglomeration of topics (Monnica’s arrival, encounters with Ambrose and a beggar, a short biography of Alypius, marriage plans and the dis- missal of Augustine’s concubine), the tension of the narrative, moving excruciatingly towards conversion, never slackens: ‘the book represents undiluted, though often painful, progress’ (O’Donnell 1992, 2:329). And progress, especially in books 3 to 7 of the Confessions, implies libera- tion from Manichaean ways of thinking, which in its turn implies the polemic treatment of the tenets of Manichaean religion. The reader is taken from the question evoking the theme of God’s abiding presence in the opening words of the book: Spes mea a iuventute mea, ubi mihi eras et quo recesseras? [‘My hope from my youth’ (Ps 70:5), where were you, and where did you ‘withdraw’ from me (Ps 10:1)?]; through statements about his desire for progress (in 6.4.6): Volebam enim eorum quae non viderem ita me certum fieri ut certus essem quod septem et tria decem sint [I wanted to be as certain about things I could not see as I am certain that seven and three are ten]; about God’s guiding presence (employing the topos of the way) in 6.5.8: Suspirabam et audiebas me, fluctuabam et gubernabas me, ibam per viam saeculi latam nec deserebas [I sighed and you heard me. I wavered and you steadied me. I travelled along the broad way of the world, but you did not desert me]; about the unacceptable condition of the godless life in 6.6.10: Et inveniebam male mihi esse et dolebam et conduplicabam ipsum male [And my state I found to be bad; this caused me further suffering and a redoubling of my sense of futility]; about reading the Hortensius and his impatience with the lack of prog- ress in 6.11.18: Satagens et recolens quam longum tempus esset ab undevicensimo anno aetatis meae, quo fervere coeperam studio sapientiae … et ecce iam tricenariam aetatem gerebam, in eodem luto haesitans protreptic purpose 159 [As I anxiously reflected how long a time had elapsed since the nine- teenth year of my life, when I began to burn with a zeal for wisdom … and here I was already thirty, and still mucking about in the same mire]; about impatience and conversion in 6.11.20: Transibant tempora et tardabam converti ad dominum, et differebam de die in diem vivere in te [Time passed by. I ‘delayed turning to the Lord’ and postponed ‘from day to day’ (Ecclus 5:8) finding life in you]; and about God’s presence and the unsatisfactory condition of the pre- vious life in 6.16.26: Ego fiebam miserior et tu propinquior. aderat iam iamque dextera tua raptura me de caeno et ablutura, et ignorabam [As I became unhappier, you came closer. Your right hand was by me, already prepared to snatch me out of the filth (Jer 28:13), and to clean me up. But I did not know it]; towards a repetition of the assurance of God’s presence in the closing lines of the book (6.16.26), which is at the same time a powerful conso- lation to the reader, an affirmation that conversion and final certainty is possible: Et ecce ades et liberas a miserabilibus erroribus et constituis nos in via tua et consolaris et dicis, ‘currite, ego feram et ego perducam et ibi ego feram’ [You are present, liberating us from miserable errors, and you put us on your way, bringing comfort and saying: ‘Run, I will carry you, and I will see you through to the end, and there I will carry you’ (Isa 46:4)]. ...”