Relationships and the Choice of Friends

Chapter 9

1 Don’t be jealous over the wife of your bosom, and don’t teach her an evil lesson against yourself. 2 Don’t give your soul to a woman and let her trample down your strength. 3 Don’t go to meet a woman who plays the prostitute, lest perhaps you fall into her snares. 4 Don’t associate with a woman who is a singer, lest perhaps you be caught by her tricks. 5 Don’t gaze at a virgin, lest perhaps you stumble and incur penalties for her.⁠ 6 Don’t give your soul to prostitutes, that you not lose your inheritance. 7 Don’t look around in the streets of the city. Don’t wander in its deserted places.⁠ 8 Turn your eye away from a beautiful woman, and don’t gaze at another’s beauty. Many have been led astray by the beauty of a woman; and with this, passion is kindled like a fire.⁠ 9 Don’t dine at all with a woman who has a husband, or revel with her at wine, lest perhaps your soul turn away to her, and with your spirit you slide into destruction.⁠ 10 Don’t forsake an old friend; for a new one is not comparable to him. A new friend is like new wine: if it becomes old, you will drink it with gladness.⁠ 11 Don’t envy the success of a sinner; for you don’t know what his end will be. 12 Don’t delight in the delights of the ungodly. Remember they will not go unpunished to the grave. 13 Keep yourself far from the man who has power to kill, and you will not be troubled by the fear of death. If you come to him, commit no fault, lest he take away your life. Know surely that you go about in the midst of snares, and walk upon the battlements of a city. 14 As well as you can, aim to know your neighbors, and take counsel with the wise. 15 Let your conversation be with men of understanding. Let all your discourse be in the law of the Most High. 16 Let righteous people be companions at your table. Let your glorying be in the fear of the Lord.⁠

Rulers and the Sin of Pride

17 A work is commended because of the skill of the artisan; so he who rules the people will be considered wise for his speech. 18 A loudmouthed man is dangerous in his city. He who is reckless in his speech will be hated.⁠

Texts in conversation

Compare Sirach 9:8 and Matthew 5:28

Deuterocanon · New Testament

Summary

In Matthew, Jesus tells people not to look at a woman with desire, echoing Sirach, which teaches people not to look at another's beauty to avoid temptation. Both extend rules to guard thoughts as well as actions, a practice called fencing the Torah.

Passages

Sirach 9:8

Deuterocanon · Ben Sira, Ecclesiasticus

3 Don’t go to meet a woman who plays the prostitute, lest perhaps you fall into her snares. 4 Don’t associate with a woman who is a singer, lest perhaps you be caught by her tricks. 5 Don’t gaze at a virgin, lest perhaps you stumble and incur penalties for her. 6 Don’t give your soul to prostitutes, that you not lose your inheritance. 7 Don’t look around in the streets of the city. Don’t wander in its deserted places. 8 Turn your eye away from a beautiful woman, and don’t gaze at another’s beauty. Many have been led astray by the beauty of a woman; and with this, passion is kindled like a fire. 9 Don’t dine at all with a woman who has a husband, or revel with her at wine, lest perhaps your soul turn away to her, and with your spirit you slide into destruction.

195–180 BCE (scholarly estimate) Read in Sirach

Matthew 5:28

New Testament

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to desire her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into hell.

70–90 CE (scholarly estimate) Read in Matthew

References

"... The sage begins by emphasizing respect for marriage. The young man is to avoid jealousy toward his wife, else she may be provoked to evil. In 9:2 Ben Sira displays his cautious outlook (33:20): giving power to a woman could enable her to disgrace her husband by trampling on his dignity (Proverbs 31:3). Moreover, the male student should avoid intimacy with a strange (or foreign) woman, who might catch him in her snares (Proverbs 7:23). Sirach 9:5 advises against lustful thoughts toward a virgin (Job 31:1; Matthew 5:28). Moreover, the student associating too closely with a married woman will go down in blood to the grave (Proverbs 2:18; 7:27), probably a reference to the death penalty stipulated for adulterers (Leviticus 20:10) or to the husband’s revenge (Proverbs 6:34) ..."

Daniel Durken, ed., The New Collegeville Bible Commentary: In One Volume (Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 2017), 1238.

References are not endorsements of their contents. Read each reference in full to understand its author's intentions in using these texts.

Relationships and the Choice of Friends

Rulers and the Sin of Pride

Sirach52 chapters

Compare Sirach 9:8 and Matthew 5:28

Summary

Passages

Sirach 9:8

Matthew 5:28

References

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